My Gold Teeth

Policeman: Why didn't you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?

Man: If I had opened my mouth, they'd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.

金 牙

警察：有人抢你的手表时，你为什么不呼救呢？

男子：要是我张口的话，他们就会发现我的四颗金牙。那就更糟了。

How does the dog know?

The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.

"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"

"Ah, yes," answered the little girl. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"

狗知道吗?

一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。

“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。’”

“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”

Class and Ass

Professor Laurie of Glasgow put this notice on his door：“Professor Laurie will not meet his classes today.”

A student，after reading the notice，rubbed out the“c”.

Later Professor Laurie came along，and entering into the spirit of the joke，rubbed out the“l”.

格拉斯哥的劳里教授在门上贴了这样一个通知：“劳里教授今天不上课。”

一个学生读了通知后，擦掉了字母“c”。

后来劳里教授来了，也想开开玩笑，他擦掉了字母“l”。

The best girlfriend

No matter which girl he brought home，the young man found disapproval from his mother.

A friend gave him advice.“Find a girl just like your mother—then she's bound to like her.

So the young man searched and searched，and finally found the girl.He told his friendly adviser：“Just like you said， I found a girl who looked，talked，dressed， and even cooked like mother.And just as you said，mother liked her”

“So，”asked the friend，“what happened?”

“Nothing，”said the young man.“My father hates her!”

最适合的女朋友

无论带哪一个女孩回家，这位青年人总会遭到母亲的反对。

一位朋友劝他说： “找一个和你母亲一样的女孩——那她一定会喜欢她。”

于是这位青年人不停地找啊找，终于找到了这么个女孩。

正像你说的那样，我找到一个长相、谈吐、穿着打扮，甚至连烹饪都和我母亲一样的女孩。也正像你说的那样，我母亲喜欢她。”

“那后来呢？”朋友问。

“没什么，”青年人说。“我父亲讨厌她！

Dog can't read

Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!

Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!

Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.

狗狗不会阅读

布朗夫人：哦，亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！

史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！

布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”

Off-site accident

Workman：“Mr. Brown，I should like to ask for a small rise in my wages. I have just been married.”

Employer：“Very sorry，my dear man， but I can't help you. For accidents which happen to our workmen outside the factory, we are not responsible.”

厂外事故

工人：“布朗先生，我想请您给我加一点工资。我刚刚结了婚。”

雇主：“非常抱歉，老兄，但是我无能为力。对工人在厂外发生的事故我们概不负责。”

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